Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
