we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need to sanitize my soul.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
