TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Randomize
