I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize