i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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