from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he puts the penis in happiness.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
