I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she looked like the before picture.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
