You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
In America we eat man semen.
operation have a gay friend backfired
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
