Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
