I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
