i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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