I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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