They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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