i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
