hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
