I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
