So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
