I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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