A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
