i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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