you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
