How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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