Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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