i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
