you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize