You just made me feel so damn special
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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