found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
