dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
