NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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