As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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