the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
