Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i think i have two assholes
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
