Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
