Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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