just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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