Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
ok first of all what the fuck
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
