Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
