'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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