you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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