WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
