I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
