Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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