Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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