he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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