you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize