Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
