he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
