she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
