It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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