Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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