I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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