Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
