Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
