guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
