I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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