I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
