He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
