not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
