I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize