Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
