I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I am available for nakedness
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
