your parents love me but you hate me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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