Whod you bang
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
