As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
they're like a gay fantastic four
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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