i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
