"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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