If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
